SEE him demonstrate the efficacy of his GEN-U-WINE Ersatz Elixir (Guaranteed Spurious) as a panacea, stain remover, and general source of amazement and fascination as it treats, cures, and even PREVENTS such common ailments as spots, stains, scurvy, dropsy, gout, rickets, wombats, The Willies, and the heartbreak of the modren age, FROMNAMBULATING RHOMBUTITIS! Why, there's even a jolly sing-along jingle! HEAR him extol the virtues of this wonder patent medicine (patent pending along with a couple of lawsuits in another county)! And the jingle! Which you can sing along to and will doubtless be humming on your way home tonight! WITNESS him defy death, dismemberment, and common sense in a hair-raising demonstration of the healing properties of this GEN-U-WINE Ersatz Elixir (those with weak constitutions or adverse to the sight of a fat man risking injury are advised to sit up front to get a good look). PAY him your hard-earned money at the end to take a fine bottle of this miracle potion home FOR YOUR VERY OWN (supplies may vary)! Professor Tobias's GEN-U-WINE Ersatz Elixir (Guaranteed Suprious)! Come see the show before he's run out - I mean before he runs out of the stuff!